Funeral 20th October
Everyone at the office was shocked this morning to learn that Simli’s Lawyer had died suddenly. He is (was) married to Jafara’s sister and they just had a baby, whose naming ceremony I went to just one week ago. It was completely unexpected. His baby daughter is just two weeks old now.
The custom here is to bury the body on the same day as death. It is amazing how quickly word spreads and by the time we got to the house there were already several car loads of people there. It was so strange as they’d set up the courtyard in exactly the same way as the naming ceremony with canopies and chairs arranged in rows. I had a very bizarre feeling of de ja vu.
The first thing you have to do is greet the mourners which was terrible. The wife and parents were totally inconsolable and the wee baby was lying sleeping in the corner. They also have another child, a 3 year old boy, who was wandering around looking confused. Although I couldn’t really understand what anyone was saying, it was obvious that there was a profound sense of shock. Everyone was looking at each other as if hoping that someone would admit that it was a joke. We were sitting in his living room with photos of him and the family all around.
Because he was a Lawyer, he was fairly well off and has a lovely big house in which several of the extended family stay. I don’t know what will happen to them.
I have never been to a Muslem funeral before. There is a marked segregation between men and women. All the women had to stay inside the room and the men were all outside. When they brought out his body, the women were not allowed to enter the room and it was only the men who go to the cemetery to bury him, not even his wife or mother is allowed to go. Then all the men went to the mosque to pray for him before returning to the house.
I learn that they believe you should not cry at this pre-burial ceremony as they believe that if a tear touches the ground it will burn the body of the deceased once he is buried. I was told this after the dead man’s sister, who was wailing terribly, got severely told off by another lady. It was obvious that she was certainly not offering her condolences. I asked my friend what was going on and learnt she’d be telling her off for crying and saying that she was punishing her brother.
We were there for about 5 hours. By the time it ended there must have been about 200 people there. His colleagues had come from work, they were expecting him in court. He’d been at work yesterday.
There will be further ceremonies after 3 days, 7 days and 40 days.
